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A DIVORCE MAY BE UNAVOIDABLE. DIVORCE IS ALMOST ALWAYS PAINFUL. BUT THE DIFFICULTIES OF A HIGH CONFLICT DIVORCE OFTEN MAKE THE PROCESS MORE PAINFUL THAN IT NEEDS TO BE.

The ending of a marriage typically brings with it a deep sense of loss and feelings of sadness, anxiety, loneliness, rejection, and insecurity. At times like these, it is easy to act out of anger, resentment, hopelessness, and depression. Unfortunately, the traditional adversarial divorce process can add to the turmoil, agitation, and expense of an already extremely difficult set of circumstances. The conflict that typically accompanies a hotly litigated divorce can be destructive not only for the divorcing spouses, but also for their children, extended families, and friends. When divorce litigation becomes about “winning” or “getting even”, the result may be that everybody loses and nobody wins (except perhaps the attorneys representing the divorcing parties). Conducting divorce litigation is almost always expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining, which is why the vast majority of divorce cases never go to trial and eventually are settled out of court. The sad truth, however, is that many of these cases are settled only after protracted and costly litigation. But what if the parties could agree at the outset to work out their conflict by mutual agreement with the support and guidance of trained professionals, rather than going to court? This is possible, and you do have a choice.

The Collaborative Divorce process offers this possibility as an alternative to litigation. In a Collaborative Divorce, a team of legal, mental health, and financial professionals assists the divorcing spouses in resolving conflicts and addressing issues, including child custody and parenting, child and spousal support, the division of division, and related matters. In addition, the spouses receive guidance on how to communicate with each other, and how to constructively parent and interact with their children in the context of the divorce transition. Divorcing spouses agree not to litigate and opt instead to resolve their issues in a safe, respectful, and transparent manner with the help of the collaborative professional team. The focus is the preservation of dual parent relationships, financial resources, and peace of mind. The goal is to find customizedsolutions that fit the particular family involved, and to optimize the outcomes for all concerned.

If you are considering separation or divorce, we invite you to consider whether the Collaborative Divorce process can benefit you and your family. We believe it can if you are willing to work through the process, and we are glad you are exploring the possibility of divorcing collaboratively.